Hurry Up and Weight

Not Quite As Planned

2011-04-26T06:14:00.000-07:00

I went to the gym last night after work. I tried using the recumbent stepper but couldn't get my heart rate up without putting in so much effort that it was hurting my knees. I opted, instead, for the treadmill so I could track it with my Nike+ (it doesn't work on the ellipticals). That was probably a mistake since I figured out their treadmills don't appear to have any shock absorption like the one at home does. The knees and back were not exactly pleased by that.

I started to follow the workout. I got through the first three machines and started wearing thin because I hadn't eaten anything substantial since lunch. I pressed on and made it through a couple more. I was determined that I was going to complete the whole workout. Until I noticed it was already 7:30pm.

Since my back was protesting from the treadmill I hit the back extension machine and called it a night. I think if I want to finish in a reasonable time, at least at this stage, I will need to cut down to one set per machine if I go after work. Either that or I do the sets as two circuits. That way, I get all the machines in and round two is gravy if I have time for it.

Still, I went home sweaty, tired and a little sore.

This Might Just Work

2011-04-22T10:59:00.001-07:00

I joined a health club about three weeks ago. So far, the experience has been decidedly different. Normally, the exchange goes: "Here's my money." "The equipment is over there." The attendants are so beefy that chubby little ol' me is too intimidated to ask, "how do you work this damn thing?"

Total Health is run by the local hospital. It started as Total Rehab, a physical therapy/rehab center. They moved into a larger facility, added aerobic and weight machines, changed the name and allowed the public to join.

After getting a release from my doctor because of certain conditions, they conducted a health assessment. They check your height and weight, do a simple treadmill test, hook you up to some sort of body composition analyzer and ask you questions about your reasons for joining, your health goals and problem areas (i.e. mine were my right shoulder, lower back and knees). Then, they do something I have never had any exercise facility do for me as part of the membership at no extra charge. They developed an exercise program for me.

At the end of the health assessment I set up an appointment about 2 weeks out. In that time, the... oh, let's call him a health consultant... prepares an exercise routine designed to strengthen my problem areas and move me toward my fitness goals. I met with him last night and it turned a usually random and futile experience into something meaningful.

We first went over my goals again and discussed how to get the best benefit out of it. I had to reaffirm my commitment to 3 days a week and was told the sessions had to be at least an hour. Then he took me around to each of the machines he thought would be most helpful at this stage. He demonstrated each machine, told me what muscles it would work and how it would address my problem areas, and had me do a set. He told me that the last few of each set should require some effort and after each machine he would ask if I felt the weight level was correct. All of this he noted on an exercise sheet that is available for me each time I come in.

Finally, he showed me some stretches that will also help my problem areas and loosen up key areas, like my hamstrings. All through the process he made sure I understood that they were available at any time for questions about how the machines work, spotting a set to make sure my form is right, and advice about changes to my routine. He even told me to be sure to let him know in a couple of weeks how my shoulder is progressing to see if we need to make adjustments to strengthen it better or not injure it further. Honestly, part of my shoulder feels better already.

I feel like this is a partnership rather than a business relationship. Because they are associated with the hospital and are still a therapy/rehab center they are genuinely concerned with my progress and whether problem areas are improving. I feel like I have a trainer - or at least someone who will help me determine where my focus needs to be, encourage me and help me find an exercise regimen that works for me. As long as I'm willing to keep up my end of the bargain.

Here Wii Come Again

2009-10-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

I dragged the Wii out again this morning. I was thinking I would just do a body test and move on. Then it gave me the informational screen about increasing ab strength to improve digestion. I was there, it was on, might as well.

After warming up with a tree pose (I did it 3 times before I finally figured out how to stand and get the most stability), I ended up doing some jacknifes, then a couple of yoga poses. I did the bridge and the leg twist to complete the exercise set. I still don't see how that cartoon dude on the TV gets his leg all the way over and able to get both his foot and his knee to touch the floor. I think that only works in cartoonland.

I decided to finally try the shoulder stand. Oof. That's a toughie. Your fat's not supposed to fall up. But I made ti through it. I finished up with my 2 favorites: Ski slalom and ski jump. I set a new record on the slalom. Somewhere around 48 seconds! And I came 1 yard short of my best total on the jump. I was happy.

By the way, Mr. Balance Board says I'm 235. I guess that's not too bad.

Make A Note

2009-10-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

The Dr. told my wife to keep a food journal for the next couple of weeks so, Monday, I decided I would to. It's not like the Weight Watcher's journals I used to keep. I'm just writing down what I eat and not necessarily tracking portions.

At least for now it's making me think twice before I grab something to nibble on. I mean, I can't sneak it if I have to write it down. It will be there in black-and-white. Today, for instance, I did not partake of the office chocolate bowl.

Confessions

2009-10-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here sipping a cup of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime tea in hopes that it will settle my stomach. I have been doing that a lot lately. My gut is messed up, presumably from years of abuse (that's my guess, anyway).

Tonight I know what set it off. After having something adequate for dinner, I kept eating. It's basically and old-fashioned tummy ache with a serious attitude.

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. So many times in my life I have made promises and commitments to eat better and take care of myself. I have had some success but it always goes back. I can't seem to make the changes permanent. I have deluded myself that it is not my fault that there is something biological but I have forgotten that the choice to overcome it is in my hands.

I started this blog several years ago in hopes that writing down my commitment and tracking it would make it stick but even that fell by the wayside. I've let it languish long enough that I'm sure nobody is reading anymore. So why am I writing this? I don't really know. Am I trying to make some sort of announcement? Not that I know of. Am I promising to turn back toward the healthy? Maybe but even if I am I don't know what that really means. All I know is that I write this for myself as, perhaps, a way to express my self-talk so that I can make my confessions and, by showing them the light of day, face them.

I don't know if or when I will make another post here. I don't know which path my journey will take from here.

Going Down (Already)

2009-05-11T10:02:00.001-07:00

I just got back from my annual physical. According to the scale at the office, I'm down 3 pounds. Not bad for a week with the Wii Fit.

Just so you know, I am making changes in other ways, too. I have cut WAY back on my soda intake, I eat a much healthier breakfast and, most importantly, I try to be cognizant of when I'm full and need to stop eating.

Wii - Day 3

2009-05-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's me. I haven't been around in almost two years. Why? Because I stalled. there wan't much to write about. Now, since it is highly probable that no one is reading this anymore, it will simply be a personal journal and if someone stumbles upon it, so be it.

My 42nd birthday was yesterday. As one of my gifts, my mother in law bought me a Nintendo Wii and a Wii Fit/Balance Board package. She gave it to me when I saw her on Saturday so it's been hooked up since Sunday morning.

Normally, when I get up for work, I will go into my home office, check my email and generally fiddle around for about 30 minutes. I decided that since I already have this time built into my routine and I now have a job where I can actually check my personal email, I would re-purpose the time slot. Day one was Sunday. I basically set it up and tried it out. Monday and today I actually did some purposeful exercising.

Right now I'm around 250 lbs and my Wii says I'm obese (I'm not arguing). I'll keep you informed.

Stress + Effort = Weight Loss

2007-04-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

Hey, welcome back. I haven't written anything here lately because, frankly, there wasn't anything to report. I'd hit a plateau and had stayed there... but that's changed in the last 4 weeks.

On March 16, 2007 my wife accepted a new job 1,400 miles away. Out of necessity, she gave them a start date that gave us two weeks to pack. We were short on time and had a weight limit we were trying to stay under. As such, we only managed to pack up and send about half of our stuff.

As we packed, meals were at irregular times and were often smaller portions than we would normally eat. Meals were a means to provide energy to continue packing.

Once we arrived at our destination, I, being the one who did not yet have a job, was in charge of unpacking. Again, meals were somewhat irregular and of smaller portions. This time, however, it was because we hadn't packed our pantry and didn't have much money for groceries. A simple turkey and cheese on white, maybe a few tortilla chips, and a can of Coke was usually enough.

Two weeks of living in the new place and it was time for me to head back to the homestead and finish packing. It's been a nightmare. I hadn't realized just how much we had left and didn't realize what a disheveled mess the house was in.

Again, meals have been light, consisting of Hamburger Helper microwave singles that we left behind and occasional cans of soup. Fluids have consisted mainly of water.

In the past week, I've noticed that my 42" jeans have gotten baggier and even the 40" jeans have been loose. A couple of weeks ago, I started noticing that part way through the day I would adjust my belt to the last notch to keep from constantly pulling my pants up. Now, I'm buckling it there to start with and even that is beginning to feel loose.

I know bathroom scales are notoriously inaccurate but during my plateau, the scale we left behind was reading right around 250 (246-252). Out of curiosity, I stepped on that scale a couple of days ago and it read 238. That means I've lost 12-18 pounds since this whole thing started. I can only hope that by breaking the plateau - and readjusting some of the bad habits that were starting to redevelop - I can continue to lose weight and start moving toward my goal again.

I Like To Move It Move It

2007-01-31T19:10:00.001-08:00

I started last week with every intention of getting on the treadmill after work. My habit when we originally purchased it was Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings. I kept it up for a long time but fell out of habit.

Monday evening rolled around... I skipped it. Tuesday evening came and went with no action. Wednesday night I thought long and hard about it... but skipped it then, too.

I woke up a little early Thursday morning. After letting the dogs out and taking care of morning necessities, I decided I had enough time to give the treadmill 30 minutes. I thought about it logically - I had the time, I was planning on taking a shower anyway, and I was already in a pair of jogging shorts. T-shirt, walking shoes and my MP3 player and I was ready to go.

In the end, I only spent 20 minutes on the treadmill Thursday morning because I had to get everything set back up and that took me a good 10-15 minutes but I did it. And I followed that with 30 minutes Friday morning and 30 minutes Saturday morning.

I decided to rest on Sunday and I just wasn't feeling it Monday morning. Monday sucked, by the way, so I gave it 20 minutes Tuesday morning and 30 minutes today. I am finding that it is a great way to start the day on a positive note.

Yay me!

Step One - Get-Real Expectations and Goals

2007-01-11T04:45:00.001-08:00

Express your goals in terms of specific behaviours and feelings.

With specificity, write what it is you hope tp achieve (the number of pounds you want to lose or the desire to maintain your weight loss within a certain range once you have lost it):
I would like to get my weight down to around 200 pounds. I feel that is a weight that I can realistically achieve and maintain. With that, I also hope that I will be able to reduce the number of medications I am taking.

Describe what you will do (the behaviors or actions you must commence, change, or stop in order to lose weight):
I need to take smaller portions and stop when I am full. I must listen to my body and not be afraid to set aside or dispose of uneaten food.

When you lose weight, you want to feel (proud of your new shape, lighter, more energetic, free from obsessions over food or dieting, at peace with your body, and so forth):
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel generally healthy and not afraid that my weight is going to cause me continued medical problems. I want to feel like I am in control, not the food I eat.

Revelations

2006-12-30T06:33:00.000-08:00

Hello? Is anyone still here? I'm terribly sorry it has taken me so long to come back to this. I've had to get a few things right in my head before I could face you. I honestly thought it would take me longer but I've had an epiphany this morning and had to share it.

I'm still off Weight Watchers and I estimate I've gained back 7-10 pounds from my "low" point. As I said, I got tired of paying them $10 a week to tell me I hadn't lost any weight. I also quit oging to the meetings because I knew my block was not in the process nor in the program - I know those work. The problem was in my head. I had to get through my psychological barriers before I could proceed.

Those first 20 pounds or so I had to lose. My health depended on it. Once I started feeling better, though, I started to slip back into some of my old habits - I'll get into why later, it's part of the revelation - and reached a balance point between my need to save myself (literally) and my eating habits.

When I first saw The Ultimate Weight Solution by Dr. Phil McGraw, I thought, "Sheesh, just what we need, andother diet book," and put it out of my mind. Then, as I was sitting in the room while my wife was watching his show one afternoon, I started listening to how he was counseling one of his guests about her weight. He showed the book and for the first time I noticed the whole title: The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom. When I read that, I realized that this was not a book that was going to tell me how to eat, when to eat, what to eat, and what not to eat. I pretty much know those things, don't we all? I needed help unlocking why I eat the way I do and I felt this book might help me do that.

Still with me? Good, because this post is not and advertisement for Dr. Phil's book. I mention it because it was a catalyst to this revelation and if you'll stick around a little bit longer, we'll get there together.

My original intention was to unlock the secrets, or at least part of them, using these seven keys and then tell you what I had learned about myself and where I was going next. But I'm less than 100 pages into the book and haven't even really explored the first key. What the book has done is to get me thinking in the right direction.

I usually don't make resolutions for a new year because I often find myself not following through on them. Then, I was reading a post over at All I Want is a Good Night's Sleep, my sister's blog. She was recapping her 2006 resolutions and I realized why I had been having problems. I was setting goals that were too general. If you resolve to exercise more and you manage to pop on the treadmill a couple of times in January, that's success, right? If you resolve to eat healthier and you opt for the fruit cup at Wendy's instead of the fries, that's success, right? Do you see the problem? I needed something specific.

I started thinking about my resolutions the other day with this new information in mind. One of the things I want to do is keep a cleaner house. Instead of making that my resolution, I came up with: I will hang my coat/jacket up instead of throwing it over the back of a chair. You see what I did there? I stated a specific action that I can look back on and say, without a doubt, whether I accomplished it or not.

Noble and useful as hanging up my coat may be, it's really a small step and I needed something else to add to my list. Obviously, my health and my weight are a concern to me so I needed something related to that... but what?

I picked up Dr. Phil again - after a recess to read Eragon and Eldest - and that got me into my why mode. I've always known that I love food. I love the smell, I love the taste, I love the texture, I love the process to make it, I love the comfort it gives me as it slides down my throat and fills my belly - I LOVE FOOD! On the other side of the coin, I hate hunger. It's not in direct proportion but I really don't like feeling hungry. When I feel hungry, I want to get rid of that hollow in my stomach. Of course, as anyone who has struggled with their weight knows, that hollow can deceive you and your mind will make you think it's there when it really isn't. Your mind can also block the signal when your hunger is satisfied or it can deceive you into thinking the hollow is bigger than it really is. That's part of my problem.

That's when it all started to come together.

I can't remember the last time I took a small portion. The idea of 1/2 a cup of Hamburger Helper is a joke to me. I know I'll be coming back for more so I take more. But I take way too much more. Being in why mode, I asked myself - Why? Why do you always take these huge portions and rush back for more?

I come from a family of five people. My father and older brother are the same way I am - big boys, big portions. I realized that eating is a competition to me. I've known this, in part, for years when I once realized that when I'm around someone who takes large portions, I will take similarly large portions even if I wouldn't usually take that much. I always felt that I was giving myself permission to eat more because someone else was doing it as well - sort of a safe zone I think. I still didn't understand why I did that, I just knew that I did. This morning, it hit me. I hate hunger. When someone else is taking a large portion, I take a large portion because I am afraid that if I don't take what I want - or more than I want - up front, there may not be anything left later. This happens whether there is a finite amount of food - such as at home - or an infinite amount of food - such as at a buffet.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Well, of course. That makes sense." but this is HUGE for me. This is monumental. This is potentially life-changing information. Now that I know why I can watch for it and try to counteract it. I would estimate that 80% of the time I do not need to concern myself with not getting enough to eat. I live with my wife and that's it - there are only two of us. Trust me when I say we make plenty of food.

So now I have my second resolution for the new year:
I will take smaller portions to begin with and I will stop when my hunger is satisfied.

Good For the Soul

2006-09-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

Confession, that is - and I have one.

I have been putting off writing this because I knew someone in my life would give me s**t about it. But it's time I told you... I've stopped going to meetings.

This doesn't mean I've given up. This doesn't mean I won't be eating healthier anymore. This doesn't mean I've stopped exercising. It just means that I got tired of paying WW $10 a week to tell me I weighed the same.

It's my fault. If I were truly following the program, I would continue to lose weight but I hit a comfort level with healthy eating vs. comfort foods and so did my body. I just haven't made the decision to move forward yet and I don't need to spend the money right now if I know that's where I am. When it's time to move forward, I'll probably go back. In the mean time, I'll continue to eat salads and vegetables and avoid fat and empty calories where I can. Plus, I promise I'll continue exercising (the treadmill has finally been unburried after "The Great Closet Collapse of 2006"). One of the things I am struggling with right now (again) is determining my hunger level, eating what I need, and stopping when I'm full. So, like I said, I haven't given up, I just don't want to pay WW every week if I'm not going to make any progress.

Stick with me, we're still in this thing.

Tied Up In Nots

2006-08-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much here over the past couple of months I think because I haven't wanted to be negative. when I have written something, the negative seems to slip in there ever so slightly. I've been thinking about how I have not lost any significant weight in 12 weeks. I have not attained any more goals since I reached 10%. I have not followed the program properly.

I found this bag of positives today and I wanted to untie the "not" and share some of them with you.

I still eat better than before I joined Weight Watchers.
I have stayed below 250 for 13 weeks
I have maintained my weight for the last 3 weeks
I stayed for the meeting this week
It has been nine weeks since I've had a gain of more than 2 pounds

I feel really good. There are some things crumbling around me right now but I choose to be positive. I'm in my happy place.

2006-07-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

This week's weigh-in is so going to suck. I've completely thrown everything out the window. I've been gorging on zingers, stress and pizza. It's just such a pain in the ass to keep up with it and so easy to give in to temptation.

God, give me strength.

Quick update

2006-07-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

I'm down two pounds... go figure.

I Think I Can... I Think

2006-07-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

It's been about three weeks since I checked in here. Not much has changed... not at the scales at least. I go up a little, I come down a little. I hit the 30 pound mark at one point but haven't gotten past it.

I'm discouraged. I am the type of person who likes to see progress. I used to do cross-stitch. I would knock out some of these little kits in a week or less and had a blast doing it. I had something I could point to and say, "Look what I did" or "Look at the progress I made today." With that under my belt, I finally took on a large project. I never even made it half way. I stopped being able to see the progress so I lost interest.

I was ready to quit Weight Watchers. I had all but decided that I was not going to my meeting tomorrow morning. Then a funny thing happened...

I have not been doing as much "field work" at the office as I used to. I hardly ever visit any of our remote sites anymore. Today was different. I had some personal business I needed to attend to in another city. There was also some work that needed to be done at a couple of the sites that happen to be in that city. Rather than letting my assistant visit the sites and taking half a personal day to run my errand, I went to the sites and took care of business, then took care of my business.

I was sitting behind the desk of one of the managers, completing some repairs on her computer, when she walked in and said, "You look like you've lost some weight." We had a brief conversation about it but that was all I needed... just a tiny glimmer of encouragement.

I will be going to my meeting tomorrow.

2006-07-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm still here. I've hit a plateau and am hovering around the 27-30 pound loss mark. It's all in my head and I know that. I haven't been following the program - I haven't felt much like cooking, the eating out options are limited, I keep craving sweets, I'm stress eating - and I've gotten out of the habit of exercising. I need to get back on track and start watching what I'm doing. I did get the ingredients to make some vegetable soup. I'm off work tomorrow so I may do some cooking. No picnics or any other special eating events planned for the holiday so I should be good there.

Everybody have a safe holiday.

Meeting Update - 10%

2006-05-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

Current Weight: 243.8
Weekly Difference: -2.4
Total Difference: -29.4

One of the big things in weight loss over the last 5 years is the idea of losing 10% of your body weight. Research has shown that, no matter how overweigt you may be, losing 5-10% of your body weight can have a disproportionately positive effect on your health. Losing 10% of your starting weight is one of the milestones in Weight Watchers and I finally reached it this week.

It amazes me how much I have changed just in the last 4 months and through this first 10%. How am I different? Well, besides eating less and exercising more, I notice things about food that I never noticed before. We went to a breakfast buffet with my mother last weekend. I had a few things that weren't so good for me but I only had a little bit. What I noticed, however, was the way things were prepared as others brought platefuls of these foods oozing with fat, butter, cream sauces and things that just looked nasty to me. And these are things I used to eat regularly.

Then, a funny thing happened at the store today. I kept losing my shopping cart. I would walk up to it, see what was in it and, because it wasn't full of things I would normally buy, I would have to back up a step and remind myself that yes, it was my cart. I hit the produce section pretty hard (I should really plant my own veggies or at least start going to the farmer's market) and didn't have any junk foods or sweets.

I guess it's sticking this time.

Quick update

2006-05-17T04:40:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry I haven't updated this. Here's the Reader's Digest version:

Gained 3 last week.
Lost 4 this week.
Back to weight I was before Cleveland trip.
Still going to meetings
Fell out of exercise habit, need to start again
Busy busy busy... trying to get someone hired @ work, wife says I should ask for a raise

Meeting Update

2006-04-30T05:29:00.000-07:00

Current Weight: 247.4
Weekly Diff: -2
Total: -25.8

As you can see, the damage was not as bad as I thought. I figured that was going to be a +2 for a total of +5 over the past two weeks. I guess I turned it around well enough to let some of that slide back off.

Of course, I managed to have a bad food day yesterday. We went to the movies, where I gorged on popcorn and had a soda. The theater we went to (not our usual) apparently has the large bucket of popcorn and the medium drink is 44 ounces. As usual lately, Not all of the soda was consumed.

After some post-movie shopping, we went in search of dinner. We drove around a bit, heading in the general direction of home, and ended up at Red Robin. Neither one of us had tried it before so we thought we'd give it a shot. Let me tell you, Red Robin is not a Weight Watcher's best friend. Sure, they have salads and lighter things but their specialty is collosal gourmet bugers topped with lots of things that are bad for you. Unfortunately, that's just what my mouth was set for. You see, earlier in the day, we had passed a Steak 'n Shake - something relatively new to our state - and my wife had mentioned wanting to go there. That's where the craving came from. I consumed most of a Whiskey River BBQ Burger (Basted with our signature Whiskey River BBQ sauce and lasso'd together with Cheddar cheese, crispy [fried] onion straws, lettuce tomatoes & mayo) and although I skipped the mayo, I did finish off the accompanying steak fries and three glasses of Freckled Lemonade (strawberry lemonade made with strawberries in heavy syrup).

Well, today is a new day, I feel fully back into my routine, and we'll get on with life and doing things the right way.

2006-04-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

I'm back. I made it through the security at the Cleveland airport before the shooting started. Based on the time, I was waiting to board my plane when it happened but I never knew about it until I landed in Tulsa.

I'm back to my routine and feel pretty good about the day. I just finished lunch and have 14 points left for the day. My guess is Cleveland only did 5 pounds damage total but we'll find out tomorrow morning.

2006-04-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

I am so down on myself right now. I feel fat. I think I look round in the mirror again. I know I'm not eating right.

Traveling sucks.

I went to my first major league baseball game this evening (Cleveland Indians vs. Boston Red Sox) and I feel like I ate my way through the evening. Someone gave us club level tickets and all the food was ~~free~~ provided at no additional cost. Of course, it didn't help that my pressure-feeding, passive-aggressive co-worker made a comment toward the end of the evening. I'll get to what he said later.

I've only known this guy about nine months and he's on my watch list. I think he's dangerous because he's the type of person who can tear you right down to nothing and you don't even notice it. He comes across as so infectiously nice and happy. The biggest problem in this is that I don't think he even realizes he does it. He's extremely genuine about it.

I called him out on the pressure feeding the other day. I've seen him do it before and it's the last thing I need. I pretty much just pointed it out to him in hopes that he would realize that he did it and keep check on it. They had ordered pizza for lunch at the office (I had a Subway turkey sandwich). There was one piece left and he started pushing it off on one of the ladies that works with us. She said no but he kept at it. I could see she was about to give in so I said to him, "Stop being a pressure feeder. If she doesn't want it, don't push the issue."

So, tonight, here's what happened. When we got to the park, the first thing we did was get some food. Everyone went through the pizza line so I grabbed a small piece (peer pressure - it's a weakness of mine). After that, I had a chicken sandwich (it was very good) and a hot dog. Later, I had some peanuts (maybe a dozen?) and some hot chocolate (it was cold). Half our party went back to the hotel at the top of the 5th inning and that just left me and the PAPF (Passive-Aggressive Pressure Feeder). I was planning on having some ice cream, so I did when we went back to our seats. In short order, the Cracker Jack vendor started walking the aisle. I'd already had the peanuts and the hot dog but I resisted the urge to round it out with CJs. But she didn't go away. She kept coming by. I finally convinced myself to get some, eat a couple of pieces, and chalk it up to "been there, done that." I really didn't want any CJs I just wanted the experience. I asked the vendor for a little bit, ate two peices, and said, "There, now I've done the hot dog, the peanuts, and the Cracker Jacks."

His response? "Yeah, you've had just about everything tonight." And he smiled while he said it. Didn't sting any less.

Meeting Update

2006-04-22T07:01:00.000-07:00

I've always managed to squeak by in life. Lord knows how I learned anything in elementary school through all of my daydreaming. I did my homework only when absolutely necessary in High School. College saw me selling back most of my books in nearly the same condition they were purchased. But something happens when you don't have the personal discipline to apply yourself to those sorts of thing... change can knock you off track easily.

That is what has happened to me this week. I am traveling for business. The hotel provides a decent hot breakfast every morning, I am eating out almost exclusively, I don't know where many "safe" restaunts are, and healthy choices are limited or nonexistent at the restaurants we do end up at. Oh, and having a beer or three Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night probably didn't help, either.

I'm sure it would be different if I were on my own but eating has always been a social experience for me. I can very easily choose a safe restaurant or smaller portion if I'm by myself or with my wife or someone else I'm comfortable with. But when I'm out with a large group or people I don't know well, I want to have a good time with good people and good food. If everyone else is getting dessert, I don't want to miss out. If everyone is drinking, I will too. And it's still hard for me to push away from an unfinished plate.

It's not too bad and I think I can limit the damage if I'm careful this next week (I dont'return home until Thursday).

Current Weight: 249.4
Weekly Diff: +2.8
Total: -23.8

Meeting Update

2006-04-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry this is a little late. I spent yesterday after the meeting packing for my trip to Cleveland and I spent today actually travelling to Cleveland.

Current Weight: 246.6
Weekly Difference: -2.8
Total Difference: -26.6

This puts me within 1 pound of my 10% goal!

Meeting Update

2006-04-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

Current Weight: 249.4 pounds
Weekly Difference: -1.6 pounds
Total Difference: -23.8 pounds

I dropped another decade this week!

I didn't stay for the meeting this morning because Kevin and I were hitting the garage sales today. I also think our leader was ill.

2006-04-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

With the way this week has gone, I honestly wasn't sure what the scales were going to tell me on Saturday morning. They were good to me:

Current Weight: 251.0 pounds
Weekly Difference: -0.4 pounds
Ttoal Difference: -22.2 pounds

Of course, the great Friday onion ring binge probably didn't help.

Saturday's meeting was one I'd been witness to several times before. I think I even led one once (yes, I was a Weight Watchers leader at one time). The theme was, "How would you know you were usccessful if you didn't have the scales?" I don't have a scale-centric mindset so this wasn't particularly relevalnt. Like I said, I'd also seen it before.

Kevin came with me. We'd been out to garage sales that morning. He wasn't terribly impressed with the "group therapy" session, as he called it. I think the main thing is he hasn't made the decision to do something about his weight yet. I even suggested we weigh him but he wouldn't have it. I'm not going to push him because I know it won't change until he decides to change it but that doesn't stop me from attempting to be persuasive.

2006-03-29T20:14:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling "puffy" - I hesitate to use the word fat at this point. I'm a little discouraged but I'm still trying to stay on program. The discouragement comes because I have been having trouble wearing the wedding ring since Monday. It just isn't sliding on right.

I'll get there.

Meeting Update

2006-03-25T08:06:00.000-08:00

Current Weight: 251.4
Weekly Difference: -3.0
Total Weightloss: -21.8

THREE POUNDS!!!! Can you believe it?

From my last meeting update, you know I was hoping to hit the 20 pound mark and lose 1.2 this week... but I did better. WOOHOO!!!

The theme for this meeting was: Like many other things in life, weight loss is a journey, not a destination. It's about a healthy lifestyle, not losing 20, 30, 50 or 100 pounds. Sure, we have to have those goals but it's more about making the changes necessary to get there, not about the goal itself.

When you see an advertisement for any weight loss product you always see these dramatic before and after pictures. Jarod the Subway guy holging is fat pants in front of him. Jess, the fat teacher who now looks really buff, selling the latest weight loss pill (there is no magic bullet, people!). Even Sarah Ferguson on the Weight Watchers ads. They do that because it sells the product. "I succeeded, so can you." But when it comes down to it, it's all about the changes and the journey.

Jarod walked to and from the Subway restaurant every day and had a Veggie Delight for dinner every day. That's besically a bunch of vegetables between two slices of bread. It was a lifestyle change.

Jess exercised and changed his eating habits while taking the "fat burning pill." It was a lifestyle change.

Sarah Ferguson attended meetings, tracked what she ate, controlled her portions and exercised. It was a lifestyle change.

I am really enjoying the journey this time. I had spent so much time out of the kitchen because I was just too physically and mentally exhausted to cook. It was hard to get back into it but I LOVE to cook and I feel like I have the energy and desire to do it. There's something satisfying about chopping those vegetables and the process of cooking. I guess it's like the changes that are allowing me to lose weight. I can certainly nuke something in the microwave or boil a pot of water for spaghetti but the process of cooking is so much fun and the food tastes so much better when you've worked for it like that.

An exercise we did in the meeting was to pretend we had met our goal and were writing a short couple of paragraphs for Weight Watchers Magazine. Those of you reading this know that I often have a lot to say so it was hard to keep it concise but here's what I wrote:

I came back to Weight Watchers to stay alive, really. I was heavier that I had ever been and the kealth issues were starting to mount. I needed help and I knew where to get it.

I started attending meetings again. The first 10 pounds came off pretty easy, then the weekly losses started to slow. That was okay, I was going in the right direction.

Now, through portion control, healthy eating, meal planning, and exercise, I am right where I am supposed to be.

The Ring of Truth

2006-03-23T19:55:00.000-08:00

I would guess it was about four years ago, my wedding ring was starting to get a little snug. Actually, it was getting a lot snug so I dropped by the jewelry store to have it resized. I don't recall if it was 1/2 size or a full size. The jeweler had it for about a week and it slipped back on quite nicely.

I was gaining weight so rapidly at the time that within three weeks it was again too snug to be comfortable. If I remember correctly, it got some moisture underneath it and irritated my finger. I had to leave it off for a couple of days and was unable to put it back on after the irritation cleared up.

I let it go, telling myself that I'd drop some weight and get it back on. I certainly wasn't going to pay to have it resized again so soon. I slipped it into my jewelry box and there it stayed.

About six months later, we were on a trip with my mother-in-law. We stopped by a K-Mart and discovered that they were having an 80% off jewelry sale. Lacking the symbol of our love and marriage on my left hand was weighing on my mind quite heavily. As the women were looking at pretty colored stones, I started looking at the wedding bands. I found a plain, 10K gold band for $35.00 after the discount and my mother-in-law was kind enough to purchase it for me as a gift. I have been wearing that band ever since.

Tuesday night, I finished up my stint on the treadmill and hit the shower. As I was washing, I felt like the K-Mart band was trying to slide off. It had been rather loose lately so after I got dressed I reached into my jewelry box and extracted the band my wife gave me on our wedding day. Now, for the first time in over three years, I am wearing that ring again. If I never lose another pound, this one thing was worth it.

2006-03-20T18:37:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was all ready to give in to temptation. I have not had a hamburger since I started this in January. For me, that's a long time to go without a hamburger. When the craving hit last night, I was willing to give myself a small reward - and I knew exactly where I was going to get my hamburger: Braum's.

Two reasons why I chose Braum's. 1) The store is only about 2 miles from the house. It and Subway are the closest restaurants to my house. 2) Their hamburgers are so decadently greasy.

As I put on my jacket and walked to the car, I was trying to decide whether I wanted a soda, a milkshake or no drink. I was definitely getting fries! As I drove away from the house, I started wondering if I really wanted this. By the time I was half way to the restaurant, I was starting to feel guilty. The kind of guilt where you're about to do something you know you shouldn't do but you're compelled to do it. You've committed yourself, you have to do it - no turning back now.

When I got to the restaurant, I got a reprieve. On the drive-thru menu was a sign. Something to the effect of, "due to circumstances beyond our control, we are currently unable to accept debit or credit cards."

I drove away and headed down the main East-West street in town. I passed McDonalds... wasn't in the mood for a big mac. I passed Wendy's... nope, my mouth wasn't set for that, either. Sonic was coming up... nah, their burgers aren't that great and I know how many points they are. Then, it hit me... "I'm Thinkin' Arby's!!" I did have an order of potato cakes but I know the RB sandwich is lower points than a burger and I opted for water to drink when I got back home.

Side Bar - Points values for a burger and fries vs Arby's

Braum's - Unknown
McDonald's - Big Mac: 13 points Large Fries: 12 points = 25 points
Wendy's - Jr. Cheeseburger deluxe / Single cheeseburger: 8 points / 10 points Biggie fries: 11 points = 19-21 points
Sonic - Cheeseburger w/ mustard: 13 points Regular fries/tots: 4 points/6 points = 17-19 points

Arby's - Regular roast beef: 8 points Potato cakes (3): 9 points = 17 points

Okay... I should have skipped the potato cakes.

Anyway, as it turned out, I had my opportunity to have a cheeseburger and fries today at lunch. I ordered them, ate them (I did leave about 1/4 of the fries on the plate), and enjoyed them thoroughly. I compensated by eating lighter for dinner.

Good thing for that credit card SNAFU. I probably would have struggled to find something today at lunch that I wanted but was still healthy.

Snack Attack!!

2006-03-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

I guess I dodged a bullet. It's apparently Girl Scout Cookie time and I managed to not order any this year. Of course I LOVE GSCs so when I saw this idea on dealing with GSCs over at Starling Fitness, I thought it was a very realistic.

Something else I neglected to put in my meeting update. I have gotten a lot of comments and positive reinforcement this week on my weight loss ("We were looking at some pf the pictures of you from the Christmas party..."). Weight loss seems to be on the mind of several people at work but I don't really care where it comes from - it feels GREAT that someone notices. Thank you to everyone who has offered words of notice and encouragement both here and in my daily life.

Meeting Update

2006-03-18T20:42:00.000-08:00

First, let me apologize for not updating as often as I did originally. There are a couple of projects at work that are coming to an end and are demanding much of my attention right now.

Current Weight: 254.4 pounds
Weekly Difference: -1.2 pounds
Ttoal Difference: -18.8 pounds

I seem to be stuck on that -1.2 pounds train... I'm not complaining but I find it almost humorous. The good news is that I am very close to that 20 pound mark. How close? 1.2 pounds, of course!

To help me out a bit, I made some of the zero point vegetable soup (see this entry for a link). I find it to be a great "filler" when you just have to eat something. It aslwo works well as an appetizer when you don't want to over eat at a meal or you know the meal will be a little light. (Yo, mom, thanks for the chili pot! It makes a GREAT soup pot)

This week's meeting was all about exercise. We talked about the true effects of exercise. Eating a cheesecake then hitting the gym extra hard is not the way to go. You don't actually get enough benefit out of it in that way to counteract the cheesecake, or whatever else you've eaten. For instance, to walk off one plain M&M candy, you have to walk the length of a football field. That's for one little bit of chocolate with a festive candy-coated shell.

The point of all this was not to say that your efforts in exercise are not worthwhile but to say if you're exercising to burn off calories you've eaten, you're going to have to do a LOT of exercising. The rate of return in caloric burn is not as high as you might think.

What moderate exercise does do is help you maintain and rebuild the muscle you lose by following a dietary program. Yeah, that's right, you're losing muscle as you lose that fat... and I don't care what diet you're following.

Other benefits of exercise:
- Improve cardiovascular health
- Boosts energy
- Helps you cope with stress (this is TRUE! I was "outrunning" quite a lot of stress about two years ago)
- Improves your self image
- Increases your resistance to fatigue
- Helps anxiety and depression
- Helps you to relax and feel less tense
- Improves your ability to fall asleep and sleep well

Meeting Update

2006-03-12T15:31:00.000-08:00

Current weight: 255.6 pounds
Weekly difference: +0.4 pounds
Total difference: -17.6 pounds

I knew it would happen eventually and it finally did. I gained this week. It was only 0.4 pounds so it wasn't a huge deal.

Recipe update: The muffins are FANTASTIC!! My wife loves them and so do I. The first batch I made, I just ground the All Bran into a powder. It gave the muffins a grainy texture. The second batch, I ground up the All Bran, then soaked it in the 2.5 cups water while I seperated the muffin cups before adding the rest of the ingredients... it made all the difference in the world! We fed them to a couple of friends then told them, "That's a bran muffin you're eating." They had no idea.

I also made the Shepherd's Pie recipe from the WW web site. It was pretty good but I didn't like the rosemary flavor. My suggestion is to NOT use the low salt broth or, if you do, add some extra salt or other universal seasoning.

Meeting Update

2006-03-04T17:18:00.000-08:00

WOOHOO!! It felt SO good to see that -18.0 pounds on my weigh-in card this morning. I immediately set my next goal - to lose 2 pounds before next week to hit my 20 pound mark.

Current weight: 255.2 pounds
Weekly difference: -1.2 pounds
Total difference: -18.0 pounds

This week we talked about how much money and effort you spend you the upkeep of your house vs the money and effort you spend on the upkeep of your body. Your body is your first house. If you don't take care of it, where are you going to live?

Last week, I was loaned a new Weight Watchers cook book - Stir It Up! Super Skillet Cookbook. My assignment was to make at least one recipe from the book and report back to the group this week.

It actually took until last night for me to make a recipe. I had my wife go through and choose one of the recipes for me to make. While she was deciding, I went through and flagged recipes that looked a) good and b) easy (easy includes having ingredients that I am able to get or even recognize). I ended up making Southwestern Skillet Macaroni and Cheese which is more like a Chili-Mac than Mac & Cheese but it was good! It had a nice flavor and excellent texture. I could have eaten the entire pan (but I resisted).

I also flagged so many recipes that I ended up buying the cookbook ($10). I thought about copying the recipes or scanning them but I would have ruind the binding on the book - there were that many that looked interesting.

Unfortunately, the only place to get this cookbook is from Weight Watchers. Drop by your local meeting place and pick one up.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of recipes, our leader gave us one last week that I currently have in the oven. I'm going to share it with you:

Bran Muffins

1 Box reduced fat fudge brownie mix
3 Cups Kellog's All Bran cereal
2.5 Cups water
1.5 tsp baking soda

Mix all ingredients together
line muffin tins with liners
fill cups 1/2 full
Bake @ 350 for 25 minutes

Yeild = 24 muffins
One point per muffin

Notes:
Any low-fat brownie or muffin mix will work
You can get a smoother texture if you soak the All Bran in the water until it gets mushy prior to adding the other ingredients
You can also smooth out the texture by throwing the All Bran into a blender or food processor and grinding it into a powder

Enjoy!

2006-02-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

I told you about the iFIT function of our new treadmill. I haven't used it yet because the CD we have is a little too advanced for me, even though it is level one. I'm still working on the built-in program that has max speed of 3.5 with max incline of 5%. The CD has max speed of 4.5 and incline of 7%. Problem #2 is that my wife can't use the built-in programs or the iFIT programs because they're too fast for her, even out of the gate at 2mph. She has MD and it is physically impossible for her to walk that fast.

The other day she says to me, "I wish iFIT would let you order a custom program." And that got me to thinking.

In observing how the iFIT CD works, I noticed that there were audible cues in the form of electronic "chirps" that controlled the treadmill. The cues simply cannot be subharmonic or otherwise inaudible becuase they come through the audio channel - there is no secondary connection nor special playback equipment required to use them. You may see where I'm going with this. My brain told me that someone, somewhere out there in cyberspace must have figured out the structure of these audible cues and has either a program that creates them or shows you how to create them yourself.

Sure enough, I found one. I just downloaded it so I haven't even installed it yet but the guy who linked to it said he had a program up and running in less than 20 minutes (no music, just the control cues). The software is called i2Workout if you want to try it out but I'll give you a full report after I've had some time to play with it.

Meeting Update

2006-02-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

Current Weight: 256.4
Weekly Loss: -1.2 lbs
Total weight loss: -16.8 lbs

This week's meeting was about the Snack Olympics. The tie-in was because the Olympics were all this week. Anyway, we talked about the habits we have when we overeat and what positive feeling we're trying to achieve when we do. We also talked about finding a substitute to attain that positive. "If you're not hungry, food is NOT the answer."

If anyone wants more information about changing habits, just drop me an email.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

WW is coming out with some new cookbooks and I have an opportunity to test-drive one. I took it home from the meeting and my assignment is to make one of the recipes this week and report on it at the next meeting. Shouldn't be too hard since I just did that same thing in my last post.

Speaking of my last post, I should add something to my recipe roundup. The Italian Turkey and Spaghetti Squash Pie is good but, for some reason, it isn't terribly filling. Even after eating two portions, I was still hungry - both times I ate it. You know it's light when my wife goes back for seconds and she also did both times we had it. I would suggest using a full pound of ground turkey and adjusting the point value accordingly. This might make it a little heartier.

Recipe Roundup

2006-02-23T20:05:00.000-08:00

I have had an opportunity to try a few of the Weight Watchers recipes available on the web. Some of them have been okay, some not so okay. Here are my reviews:

No Points® Value Vegetable Soup
If you're into vegetables, you just can't go wrong with this soup. The broth base gives it a nice flavor to build from and, since vegetables are relatively equal, you can pretty much throw anything in here you want. I, for instance, do not like celery, cabbage or cauliflower and I'm not quite sure what Swiss Chard is or if I can even get it where I live. I do, however, like yellow squash and always put in extra carrots. Chop the broccoli small if you don't like big chunks.

Tomato Spinach Slow Cooker Soup
Like the soup above this has a zero point value and makes a great "filler" if you want to add a little extra to a meal or just need an in-between appetite satisfier. This one relies on the tomatoes for much of its flavor. The spinach looks like you're putting together a salad more than a soup but it cooks down nicely and actually adds to the soup well.

Turkey Enchilada Pie
My wife thinks this was bland but I enjoyed its flavor. 4 ounces of jalapenos is WAY too much. The next time I make it I will cut that at least in half. They really overpower the dish at that concentration. I will also probably add some more chili powder or some other spice to the turkey to season the meat itself a bit more. Overall it was edible but needs a little tweaking.

Turkey Burger with Chili Fries
Oh, these were a mistake. In my recipe binder, I wrote, "This needs something... I think it's called FLAVOR!!" Even with the amount of onions and other spices mixed in with the meat it was completely without flavor. Maybe I cooked it wrong or something but I gave a friend some and he described it as, "You know what happens to cardboard when it gets wet?" The potatoes were okay but took longer to cook than the recipe said and they came out bland as well. I know you're supposed to limit your sodium intake but come on! Let's put a little more flavor in there - experiment with the seasonings.

Italian Turkey and Spaghetti Squash Pie
I made this tonight and it turned out rather well. Its biggest drawback is the prep and assembly time. There really wasn't much chopping but you have to cook the squash, then transform it. After that, you assemble the "pie" and it takes the better part of an hour before you ever get the assembled product in the oven for the final heating.

Once it's done, though, it comes out tasty. I used real cheese since our Wal Mart doesn't carry any low-fat or no-fat cheeses. The squash could have used a little kick for flavor (maybe just a bit of salt) but I haven't quite worked out how or when to add it.

I buy my turkey in 1lb rolls so it's hard to make something with 1/2 pound (what do you do with the other half?). I decided to make two and 58 oz of undrained diced tomatoes makes it come out pretty wet (tip: use a chili pot to heat the turkey/tomato mixture). Another adjustment I will make next time I make it is to drain one of the cans. Maybe that will help.

Meeting Update

2006-02-21T17:52:00.000-08:00

The next available meeting was at 10am this morning. I was at work so I just had time to weigh in, then leave. It was a good day. I got another 5-pound star.

Current weight: 257.6
Weekly difference: 1.8
Total loss: 15.6 pounds!

2006-02-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

I've been getting my exercise this weekend. So far, I've done laundry, built a set of shelves, unpacked about 6 boxes that were littering my office, replaced the plastic chair pad under my desk (not an easy feat - the desk was on part of it), added weatherstripping to all of our outside doors, ran a load of dishes and several other things I'm sure I'm missing.

A couple of the boxes I unpacked contained CDs. I put them on the shelf with the rest of the CDs but one of them caught my eye. Sometime before we moved, my wife bought an iFIT CD for our treadmill. iFIT is a system that lets your VCR, CD or MP3 player automatically control your iFIT-compatible fitness equipment. The treadmill we had at the time was not iFit-capable. That treadmill slipped its belt shortly after we moved so finding the iFIT CD was not a high priority. I had even forgotten my wife bought it.

The new treadmill we've had for a week is iFIT compatible. I hooked up a portable CD player to the treadmill, put it in iFIT mode and pushed play... It was really cool! The CD had rhythmic background music and a trainer talking you through the workout. That's not the cool part. The cool part is that the CD also controls the treadmill. It turns it on, it speeds it up, it changes the incline, it even stops it when the program is done. I can definitely get behind that.

The treadmill we bought cost us about $800 once all was said and done. I'm sure they can be had for less but you should really look for this feature! (especially if you're a gadget freak like I am) iFIT is also available for bikes, elliptical and incline trainers.

----------------------------------------------------------------

p.s. I don't work for iFIT, they are not paying me, I just think this is a cool feature.

(non) Meeting Update

2006-02-18T07:21:00.000-08:00

When I woke up this morning the air temperature in Stillwater, OK was twelve degrees. A light layer of sleet and snow covered the ground from the night before. I still went to my meeting.

Unfortunately, the meeting was cancelled.

This brought up an exercise from my first round with Weight Watchers: If you didn't have the scale, how could you tell you had lost weight/were successful this week?

I could very easily focus on the negatives about this week. The pizza Monday night, being sick and missing treadmill time, craving (and eating) snacks that were bad for me, not writing down my meals... there's more but that's not what it's all about.

What it is all about is focusing on the positive, the things I know I did successfully. I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill Monday night. I kept my portions reasonable. I opted for healthier choices whenever I could (thank you Buffalo Wild Wings for Naked Tenders!).

I told my wife last night that I would be surprised if I lost any weight this week. I was hoping to break even but, at this moment, I don't know for sure. All I can do is focus on the positive, get back on track, and wait until Tuesday or Thursday evening to weigh in (that's when the next meetings are).

2006-02-13T19:29:00.000-08:00

How appropriate that the pizza should be called "Tombstone"

I came home this evening and was very excited to give the new treadmill a test drive. The first thing I did was change clothes, hop on and start one of the built in programs. Unfortunately, I halted the program about 5 minutes in by accidentally disengaging the safety key. From there, I just made adjustments manually. When I got done, I felt very good about my 30 minute workout and very pleased with our selection of treadmills. I hope my entusiasm doesn't wane too quickly.

I'm working on getting some entertainment options in the room with the treadmill. I installed a TV wall mount bracket and put a spare 13" TV on it. There's no signal to it yet but that's the more complicated part. We have satellite TV and the set doesn't have AV inputs for a direct DVD connection (who uses VHS anymore!).

Anyway, after I got out of the shower, the wife was upset with the dogs and in a general bad mood. It probably has something to do with her father's death exactly a year ago but she was a little tense.

We had talked about dinner before I got on the treadmill. She mentioned going out, which I'm honestly tired of doing. When I indicated a preference for not going out she inquired what we had in the house to eat. I could probably come up with something and cook but I figured her mood was not going to tolerate much of a wait. I checked the freezer and, sure enough, that Tombstone pizza I remembered being there was all ready to go.

I promised myself that I wouldn't eat that much of it but, after finishing the first piece, I wasn't satisfied and was still a little hungry. I should have looked for an alternative because I ended up eating half the pizza, barely satisfying my hunger, and not even touching my appetite. What did this little excursion to the dark side cost me? 24 points. Damn you Pizza the Hutt! (apologies to Mel Brooks)

I still feel on track but my weight loss is probably going to slow. I am trying really hard to stick with this, make good choices and spread my weekly points out through the week. I refuse to beat myself up because it will only encourage me to chuck the whole thing and that is NOT what I want to do. I finally got in the right mindset to make a commitment to this and I refuse to poison it.

2006-02-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

Don't even ask me about today's points (Saturday). It all started out well, then went South around 2pm. Let's just say cheesecake was involved.

For some reason, I slipped right back into my old cravings. I almost said habits but not so much. I'm getting much better at recognizing when I'm full/satisfied and I managed to temper that hand-to-mouth somewhat. Of course, that doesn't get me off to a good start on my weekly resolution to monitor portions.

Going to the movies didn't help either. We always have popcorn and managed to overdo the salt - again. That, combined with the 16 or so ounces of Sprite I've all but cut out of my diet, is what I think gave me the shakes by the end of the movie. Good news is that once I was up walking around it started to wear off.

-----------------------------------------------

I would like to tell you about a very good product I found. Sarah Lee Delightful Whole Wheat bread. Two slices have only 90 calories, 1g of fat and an amazing 5g of fiber. If you run that through your points slide rule, you'll notice that it calculates out to one little point. For two slices! And it's quite tasty, so go ahead and have that sandwich.

Meeting Update

2006-02-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

We have a winner!!

I have reached my first goal of seeing my weight below 260. It has been a looooooong time since I've seen a 5 in that middle number. I weighed in today at 259.4 pounds, a difference of 2.4 pounds over last week. Total weight loss to date: 13.8 pounds!!

Next goal is to hit my 10% weight loss. That's a total of 27.3 pounds, meaning I have to hit 245.9. You know, the 5.5 pounds I needed when I first set the goal I hit today sounded like a lot but 27.3 today doesn't. Do you know why? Because I'm already half way there!

I didn't stay for the meeting this morning because Sears is supposed to deliver the treadmill at 9am.

You all have a GREAT weekend! I know I will.

2006-02-09T18:18:00.000-08:00

I went ahead and calculated yesterday's stress reaction and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Dinner was only 23.5 points which only put me over by 8.5 points for the day. Not bad considering how well the week as been going in general.

I am finding myself getting more comfortable with the changes I'm making. That means I'm being less strict about weighing and measuring. It's a little soon in the game to start doing that so my challenge next week will be to pay closer attention to my portions and points.

Wednesday:
Food POINTS values total used	38.5
Food POINTS values Balance	-8.5
Exercise
None	0
Activity POINTS values earned	0

Thursday:
Food POINTS values total used	29.5
Food POINTS values Balance	+0.5
Exercise
None	0
Activity POINTS values earned	0

Still working on that table issue...

2006-02-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today... well I don't want to say that it sucked because nothing really awful happened but today had a lot of pressure associated with it. I ended the day at work with a fried brain and tight shoulders.

How did I react? I turned to food. I had a burger, fries and two beers for dinner. The restaurant I went to is local-ish (Braum's) and does not have any nutritional information so I can't figure the exact points. I'm sure I can come close but I can't be exact.

This was probably not the best reaction. Turning to food as a reaction to stress is part of what got me to 273 pounds.

But if I keep it in perspective, and make sure I do count those points (I'm not counting them tonight), I will be fine. It's all about moderation, balance, portion control, and change. I did not have a soda and I only had a small order of fries. There was a little more after that, too. I ate more than I should but I did not stuff myself.

I think the biggest thing I have gotten from Weight Watchers, and this is something they teach you on day one, is the hunger scale. If I think I'm hungry, I stop and consider whether I'm really hunger or just have a bit of an appetite. Most of the time, it serves me well. I haven't stuffed myself since I started.

I may update you on the rest of the week later.

2006-02-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

Time to play catch-up.

This was a really busy week. There are several labor-intensive tasks at work I have been trying to find an appropriate time to do. This past week and probably through the upcoming week, we have a window of opportunity to get as much of it done as we can. As such, I have had little time to comment and list my daily points. It also means that I've been stressed and have had challenges with food.

I've already talked about Wednesday and Thursday so you know how those went. I knew where I was going to be on Friday as well as what I was going to be doing. That allowed me to easily plan what I was going to have for lunch. I entered it in my journal before I ever left the house and, when lunch time came, I stuck to it. Honestly, I was too busy to think about what I wanted for lunch. Another employee offered to pick up lunch for us so I gave her my order and let her take care of it. It was still 30 minutes before I had a chance to sit down and eat it. Friday was a very good day. We accomplished a lot where we were - there were a lot of shortcuts taken during the initial installation - and the food was under control.

Today wasn't much. I actually ate a lot of food. That is, there are a lot of entries in the journal but the points are still in line. I sometimes get caught in bad timing. I will be hungry and start doing my kitchen dance. It's close to meal time but there's some reason that I'm waiting to eat. I finally give up and have something to eat rather than nibbling away my points and, usually as soons as I finish whatever I am eating, my wife will come out and want to go to lunch (or dinner). That happened today but I was ready for it so I didn't eat anything heavy. I think it saved me on the bottom line.

Here are the numbers:

Wednesday:
Food POINTS values total used	33
Food POINTS values Balance	-3
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned	0

Thursday:
Food POINTS values total used	44
Food POINTS values Balance	-14
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned	0

Friday:
Food POINTS values total used	29.5
Food POINTS values Balance	+0.5
Exercise
IT Installations	5
Activity POINTS values earned	5

Saturday:
Food POINTS values total used	33.5
Food POINTS values Balance	-3.5
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned	0

p.s. If anyone can share the HTML code to make these tables so the font is not so big and they are not spaced out so much, I would greatly appreciate it.

Meeting Update

2006-02-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

I am 3.6 pounds closer to being under 260.
I am 11.4 pounds lighter than I was 3 weeks ago.
Current weight: 261.8

I was hoping to see a 2.2 pound loss this week. That would put me at ten pounds. Given the way this week went - especially Thursday - I wasn't sure I was even going to see that. As you can see, I'm still on the right track. Thursday is now forgotten and I look toward the future. I am 1.8 pounds away from my first goal.

Today's meeting was about planning and swapping ideas for success. It was not as... relevant (for me at least) as the previous meetings. I won't be able to stay for the meeting next week... they're delivering the new treadmill at 9 next Saturday.

2006-02-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

I am beginning to lose faith. I was over points today by 2pm. I went to a seminar this morning and yeilded ot the temptation of a chocolate, chocolate chip muffin. I assumed that it was an Otis Spunkmeyer which counts 8 points... for half. I cheated and wrote it down as half even though I ate the whole thing.

Yes, I'm going to go back and correct it. I can lie to my journal but not to myself.

Lunch wasn't much better. My assistant likes mexican. He'd eat it every day if he could. I was told it was my turn to choose where we ate but we drove right by an El Chico we both like and I couldn't think of anything better. Now, I know I've been able to work something out every other time I've gone out for mexican lately but I just let my appetite guide me today. I ended up with a chicken enchilada with sour cream sauce, a chicken taco, rice and beans. I ate the taco and enchilada, did a pretty good job on the beans and rice, and kept shoveling chips dipped in some form of queso into my mouth. It was reminiscent of my old habits. I knew I shouldn't keep stuffing my face but I just couldn't stop.

I know I shouldn't beat myself up and I normally wouldn't but this has the feeling of a trend. I just need to make sure it doesn't turn into one.

Good news: Tomorrow I will be doing a lot of physical labor running network cables.

2006-02-01T20:13:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling very... dissatisfied right now. For some reason, I've had the munchies all night. I haven't been hungry.

I used to feel like this all the time. We would go out to eat, I would eat everything before me, then come home and want to open the refrigerator and look for a snack. I never could wrap my head around why that would happen but tonight was just like that. I was walking around just wanting to put something in my mouth and chew and swallow.

I tried gum: no help. I munched carrots: no help. I ignored it: no help at all.

I was at 29 points. I wanted a Little Debbie brownie. I thought I wanted a Little Debbie brownie. I know they're dense and fudgy and would probably satisfy that unnamed craving. I also know they're 7 points and I didn't want to spend 7 points.

Not 10 minutes ago, I broke down and had a Hostess cupcake. They're only 4 points and I could afford 4 points. Now I feel overstuffed and unsatisfied. Like I went just over that line between full and overfull.

When it all boils down, I know this isn't a Weight Watchers thing. It isn't even an attitude thing. It's just a thing. I would feel like this regardless of WW. What's bumming me out is that it's the first time I've felt this way since I started this whole thing.

I've got to get up early tomorrow. I'm going to bed and I'll start fresh in the morning.

2006-02-01T17:20:00.000-08:00

I hope I'm not starting to slip. The last couple of days have been really exhausting and I just haven't been as diligent in tracking my points. I mean, I do reconcile at the end of the day or after the fact but, beyond trying to make smart choices and limiting portions, i don't really think about how many points a meal is "costing" me. I guess making smart choices and limiting portions is what it's all about, isn't it?

Not much to report about Monday. I kinda cruised through that one.

Tuesday was a little scary. My PDA went kaput fairly early in the day. It was nothing a hard reset couldn't fix but a hard reset clears the memory. I was flying blind again and that makes me uncomfortable. It didn't help that my assistant wanted to go for Mexican, either. Mexican can be dangerous but I think it worked out okay (15.5 points for lunch).

I managed to get some exercise on Tuesday. We spent the entire day working on the network, installing a video conferencing unit and setting up a new desk at one of the clinics. I didn't really think I did that much but I was worn out and sore by the time I got home. I'm probably shorting myself by only counting it as 3 points.

One positive is that, overall, I've felt much better these past 2-3 weeks. I do get up and move and I don't feel like a leadbottom so much.

Monday:

Food POINTS values total used         30
Food POINTS values Balance            0
Exercise
40 min walking, leisure (shopping)    2
Activity POINTS values earned           2

Tuesday:

Food POINTS values total used      39.5
Food POINTS values Balance          -9.5
Exercise
IT Installations                              3
Activity POINTS values earned         3

2006-01-30T16:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was pretty easy. I got up and found out I only had one of my breakfast drinks so I decided to save it for Monday morning. I found Pria snack bars* on sale so I had a bunch of those on hand but I wanted something a little more. I scrounged through the selection of energy bars and picked up a couple of Luna bars. They're 4 points and are a little bigger so I had one of those for breakfast...

GAK!

They've got this odd aftertaste. I don't think I'll be getting any more of those.

I also learned that I don't like asparagus. I had a Weight Watchers Smart Ones salsbury steak entree for lunch. It's packaged with asparagus. I tried it... I don't like it.

Food POINTS values total used      26.5
Food POINTS values Balance           3.5
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned         0

----------------------

* Be very careful with the protien/energy/meal replacement bars. I've found that most of them are 200-300 calories, loaded with fat and not much fiber. They usually calculate out to 5-7 points each. The Pria bars from PowerBar are only 110 calories and are low fat. They are only 2 points each and are pretty tasty - except for the strawberry ones, they're nasty. In contrast, the Kellogg's Special K cereal bars are also only 2 points (@ 90 calories each).

2006-01-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

When I joined Weight Watchers, I signed up for e-tools as soon as I got home from that first meeting. One of the perks is having food lists and food diary available on a Palm OS PDA. The PDA synchronizes, through some sort of third-party software, with the web site. You can add items to your tracker on the web or on the PDA and they will synch.

I have had difficulty with this synchronization from day one. It's not bad enough that I want to ditch the software but it is bad enough that you have to be aware of it and make sure everything synched. I've had situations where it cleared my whole tracker journal for the day. One of the things the help files suggest to avoid this is to enter items using only one input method at a time. In other words, don't enter items on the PDA and the web without synching in between.

I ran into a little trouble because of that today. We were on our way to Tulsa to do some shopping and to go see a movie. I synched my PDA and, knowing we were going to lunch a Sonic, looked up the points for a popcorn chicken salad then entered it into the tracker. Just before leaving the house, I synched again. Somehow, the salad and dressing got missed. When I put in the popcorn and soda I had I thought I was doing good in still having 10 points left for my evening meal. Not so. The salad and dressing that didn't transfer are 14 points. So, when we walked into TGI Friday's, I was already 4 points over.

No matter, I think I still did well for the day. I was planning for the movie snacks but I might have said no to a couple of other items had I realized my position. Oh well, the walking around while shopping and the stairs at the movie theater allowed me to recover 3 points for exercise!

Food POINTS values total use                  44
Food POINTS values Balance                  -14
Exercise
10 min stairclimber, 24 steps per minute   1
30 min walking, leisure                            2
Activity POINTS values earned                  3

Weekly Meeting Update

2006-01-28T09:15:00.000-08:00

I weighed in at 265.4 pounds. I was mildly disappointed when I saw her write down -3.2 for the weekly weight change. I started the self-talk in my head - you had a really tough week, you lost, that's a bonus, etc. But then I watched her write down the total weight loss of -7.8 pounds and I changed what I was saying to myself. Hey! You're down 7.8 pounds from where you were two weeks ago. Good for you!

This also encouraged me to set my first goal for myself. I want to see myself under 260 pounds. This is something I haven't seen in at least a few years and I want to see a 5 in that second position.

I was going to say that I wanted to be there in two weeks but you know what, that is just a setup for disappointment. I was going to list the difference and calculated the difference between 265.4 and 259.9 and realized that was a setup for discouragement. I'm going to leave it at this:

I will celebrate when my weight is below 260. It will happen.

One positive I forgot to mention in yesterday's entry was that I exercised. I had to go to the post office to mail a photo DVD to someone. The post office is only 4 blocks away - it's hardly worth the effort to get in the car much less the gas - so I walked it. Then, my boss told me we were going to lunch at a restaurant about 6 blocks away and he was going to meet me there. Not only did I walk to the restaurant, I also walked back and refused the ride I was offered. In total, it was about 30 minutes worth of walking.

Funny that the meeting should be about exercise.

Two weeks to the convenience of a treadmill.

2006-01-27T19:44:00.000-08:00

Today was a bust. I didn't count any points, I didn't write down anything I ate, I just went with the flow.

Here's what happened. I got to the office and realized I left my PDA at home. I use my PDA to keep my journal and track my points. No big deal, I figured I would just keep a written log and figure up the points later. Lunch was the clincher.

I was supposed to have lunch with my boss and a couple of... consultants, for lack of a better word. Knowing my boss, my expectation was that we would go to Chili's. I had this in mind because I know my boss likes the salmon there. I also know that the Guiltless Grill section is safe so I wasn't too worried about staying on program. But we didn't go to Chili's. In fact, we didn't go to any restaurant that I would be able to look up on weightwatchers.com or Dotti's. We ended up at a local flavor joint called The Sushi House.

My recollection, from last week's training lunch, was that Sushi was also relatively safe. One problem: I don't know a California roll from a vegetable roll so there's no way for me to figure out exactly what I ate and exactly how to count it.

Here's what went through my mind:
1. You weigh in tomorrow
2. With the way the week has gone, what I do today is not going to have a great impact on my weigh-in
3. There's not much chance I'm not going to go over on points today
4. I can go back on program tomorrow

With that in mind, I ate lunch without worrying about what it was "costing" me. What I didn't do was eat with reckless abandon. I stuck primarily to the sushi. I had one small piece of sesame chicken, three dumplings and one egg roll. I ate until I was full and tried not to stuff myself. I certainly ate less than I used to. I know I keep saying that but I don't offer it as an explanation or an excuse. I say it to find something positive. Without it I could find it so easy to chuck the whole thing. Especially at this stage.

Someone I knew once talked about the similarities and differences between weight loss and smoking. The thing is, if someone decides to stop smoking they don't ever have to pick up a tobacco product again. I have to eat.

2006-01-26T20:45:00.000-08:00

Well, crap! I hate going into a situation blind. I've gone over - WAY over - on my points again today. The only difference was that I was not intending to.

I have not quite researched restaurants enough to know what is "safe" at my favorite places. There are a couple of items that I know are good (i.e. Applebee's WW menu or Chili's Guiltless Grill) or I at least know are not ridiculously high (i.e. Sonic salads). But I've decided that I'm not going to limit myself, and whomever I'm dining with, to only what I know. I may make a suggestion but I have been letting them choose then try to limit the damage.

We were in OKC for lunch today and decided on On The Border. Good News: I checked and On-The-Go had OTB items listed in the database. Bad News: There are a very limited number of OTB items listed. The list is so limited that only 3 items come up when searching for "chicken." I decided on a Chicken Burrito. It had a sour cream sauce so I stopped when I was half done. This was a good thing because Dotti's lists it as 20.5 points! Even only eating half of it, with the queso and chips we had the meal was 20 points on its own.

By the time I got home, I only had 3 points left for the day. The wife wanted to go to Taco Bueno (a restaurant not in the database) for dinner and run some errands. I decided that I wasn't going to eat anything there but was going to beg off and have something when we got home. Instead, what happened was we ran a couple of errands first and it was 8pm by the time we stopped at the restaurant. I decided that I was, in fact, hungry and attempted to make a resonably healthy choice and ordered a Chicken Quesadilla... that's where it fell apart.

I got home and hit the internet. Good News: Dotti's lists Taco Bueno. Bad News: A chicken quesadilla is 18.5 points! I would have been better off with a couple of chicken tacos (3.5 points each).

Here's the damage:

Food POINTS values total used    45.5
Food POINTS values Balance      -15.5
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned    0

2006-01-26T15:12:00.000-08:00

I splurged again last night. I decided I wanted to go out to eat and suggested Chili's. Their Guiltless Grill items list the calories, fat and fiber on the menu so, even though they don't give you the points value, it's easy to calculate. I was overruled because it was cheap enchilada night at the local El Chico.

When we got there, I elected not to go for the Enchiladas. I didn't really want to figure out the points on the sour cream sauce. I knew I was short on points and "sour cream sauce" translated in my head to "too many points." I opted for Chicken Fajitas. I went light on the sour cream, easy on the beans and rice, and heavy on the chicken itself. When I put all the pieces together, it came out to about 22 points. I tried to check it against Dotti's but they don't list El Chico.

I feel I'm in danger of overdoing it. I keep telling myself that at least I'm eating less than I used to but I'm still going over on points and that will slow down my weight loss. Plus, if I keep this up, I could so easily slip back into my old habits and they are what got me here in the first place.

Wednesday's Roundup:
Food POINTS values total used 45
Food POINTS values Balance -15
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned 0

2006-01-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

I've been told to exercise. I've also been told to eat all my points. I know.

On the subject of exercise - the fancy schmancy treadmill gets delivered on the 11th. When I say fancy schmancy, I mean it has its own internet connnection. Also, I haven't counted any of my day-to-day activity. You'll start seeing more activity, I promise.

I've heard that I need to eat all my points. Interesting thing is that the tracker lists unused points as a + toward the weekly points but they don't really count if you haven't used any weekly points yet.

------------------------------------------------

I splurged yesterday. I made a beef stew for dinner (Crock Pot Helper) that came out to 4 points for 1/2 cup. I filled the measuring cup to 1/2 cup and decided right away that wasn't going to cut it so I went for a full cup. I counted and ate my 8 points and was satisfied... sort of. I was satisfied with the portion so I didn't go back for any more stew but I was still a little hungry. I had a sugar free Jell-o cup but that still didn't cut it (it never quite does for some reason) so I eventually had an apple.

By 8pm I was fighting off growing munchies. I hadn't had any milk yet so I decided on a glass of milk and a piece of bread with some peanut butter. I had yet to dip into my weekly flex points so I wasn't too worried about it putting me 7 points over for the day.

No sooner had I finished my milk as my wife sits down with a three pack of Hostess cupcakes and offers me one. I didn't even hesitate in saying yes. I probably shouldn't have and I wouldn't have had the peanut butter if I'd had this first but, hey, they're only four points and I was splurging anyway. Yes, I could have refused. Yes, I could have done better yesterday. No, I don't regret it. No, I don't feel guilty about it. It is what it is, I counted the points, and I still didn't stuff myself yesterday the way I normally do did (I put more of that beef stew in the refrigerator than I think I've ever had for leftovers in my house).

Food POINTS values total used    41
Food POINTS values Balance      -11
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned       0

2006-01-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

One of the things that inspired me to actually start losing weight was The Biggest Loser. I caught a marathon and was able to watch most of the second season (I think) straight through. It was very dramatic and very emotional. But I think it contributed to my disappointment at the 4.6 pounds.

If you've never watched it, these people will regularly clock in a weekly weight loss of 10-18 pounds. The thing is this is with their every waking moment concentrating on weight loss. They have their meals planned for them (I don't recall if they cook or not) and they have trainers who get them up and moving and pushing them. It's unrealistic weight loss but it's also an unrealistic situation.

The Biggest Loser is about an extreme training program and reprogramming. It's not the real world. What I have to face on a day to day basis is the stress of day to day work and living, I have to plan my own meals, and I have to weigh the option of letting myself cheat with a big steak smothered with shrimp and cheese or having teriyaki steak and shrimp skewers. What I also have to face is the reality that I'm not going to lose 10-18 pounds without concentrating 110% on weight loss... something that's simply impossible.

----------

Today was all about delays. We were headed to one of the clinics for a major software install and I got sidelined into a "30 minute" meeting (that lasted an hour and a half). We showed up two hours later than we anticipated and, as my stomach continued to tell me it was lunch time, I argued with a server and unhelpful MS help files. I finally decided I needed to step away so we took 20 minutes to walk over to Subway (a safe restaurant for Weight Watchers) and have a sandwich. When we got back, I made an executive decision and was able to proceed. Of course, I also kept starting a task and forgetting what I was doing.

Despite it all, I made it through the day without going over.

Food POINTS values used 22
Food POINTS values Balance +8

Exercise
Activity POINTS values earned 0

2006-01-22T20:42:00.000-08:00

I left the house today which was probably a good thing. I actually got some small bit of exercise walking around a couple of stores and was not near enough the kitchen to hear any chocolate chip cookies calling me (or any other treats we actually have in our kitchen).

We ended up at Applebee's for dinner and I was sorely tempted to throw the points out the window and have a 3-course combo. The Shrimp & Parmesan Sirloin combo (An individual portion of Spinach & Artichoke Dip paired with Shrimp ‘N Parmesan Sirloin. Served with garlic mashed potatoes, seasonal vegetables and garlic toast) with a fudge brownie for dessert looked sooooooo good. But I resisted and had the 7-point Weight Watchers shrimp and steak skewers (quite tasty, actually) and a piece of 4-point Weight Watchers chocolate respberry layer cake.

Here's the problem I'm running into right now. Over the past several years I've gotten used to some pretty hefty portions. I could have eaten that entire 3-course combo without even blinking. I might have been a little stuffed when I left but more likely, I would have felt satisfied. Weight Watchers is really all about portion control. To paraphrase a leader I once had, a cookie is not a problem. An entire package of cookies is. Now I'm eating smaller portions and it's causing me to have this slight hunger thing going on a lot more often throughout the day. I'm used to eating when I'm hungry and I usually eat a full portion or more when I do. I'm having to put aside that hunger because I know it's just an errant signal my body is throwing me because of my habits. I sometimes let it go too long so I have to find that balance.

For some reason, last time around I didn't have a problem with the portions. I found myself eating about the same amount of food as I normally did but I was getting a different balance of healthier foods. It's a little different this time and not just because the program is different. I'm still here and I'm still sticking with it, though.

Here are today's numbers:

Food POINTS values total used 30
Food POINTS values Balance 0
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned 0

(right on the mark)

2006-01-22T20:17:00.000-08:00

I think the weekends are going to be the most difficult. I sometimes sit around the house a lot on the weekends and will just ... be. That's usually a dangerous thing for me when it comes to food. When left to my own devices, I get the munchies if I'm sitting around with nothing to distract me. With my recent food habits, munchies mean sweets and other things that are bad for me. Luckily, I loaded up the house with healthy alternatives last week and it hasn't been quite so bad. Of course, my "snack" category for Saturday reads like a grocery list on its own.

PowerBar Pria snack bar, chocolate mint (2 pts)
PowerBar Pria snack bar, chocolate peanut crunch (2pts)
Blue Bunny Lite 85 Peach yogurt (2 pts)
Jell-O sugar free cherry gelatin snack (0 pts - and only 10 calories)
1 medium apple (1 pt)

Of course, I didn't eat all of that at once but the Pria bars were relatively close to each other. Amazingly enough, I still came out 7 points ahead on Saturday.

Food POINTS values total used 23
Food POINTS values Balance 7
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
Activity POINTS values earned 0

Weekly Meeting Update

2006-01-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since I weighed in for the first time. With the way the week went, my fear was that they would say, "You maintained." That would have been devastating. Fortunately, I logged a 4.6 pound loss. I'm on my way.

I must say I'm actually mildly disappointed. I don't know what I expected but the first time around with WW I logged a surprising 7 pound loss in my first week. (funny that I remember that more than seven years later) I wanted to be surprised again. I not surprised that I'm not surprised. This was a challenging week and 4.6 pounds is a good start.

One of my Mantras, especially with my current job, is "One bite at a time." The question to that answer is "How do you eat an elephant?" It speaks toward breaking up a seemingly daunting task, such as weight loss, into smaller, digestable chunks. Today's meeting was about "How to eat an elephant." How appropriate for me. Of course, having been through this before and having OBAAT as my mantra, I understand the concept. It's always good to get reinforcement, though.

2006-01-20T20:00:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOD! Have you ever looked at the nutritional information for a fast food restaurant? I mean really LOOKED at it? It's no wonder the guy in Super Size Me thought he was going to die by day 20!

My wife has been home sick and I called her about lunch. She decided she wanted a breakfast sandwich from Sonic so I figured I'd get something from there, too. I pulle dup the nutritional information* and started calculating.

Let's examine a meal from Sonic that I've actually eaten in the past:
1 Supersonic cheeseburger with mustard (don't care for mayo on my burgers)
1 Large fries
1 large (32 oz) Sprite (had to give up caffeine several years ago because of a rapid heart beat)

We'll start with the lowest item - the drink.
Calories: 288 Fat: 0 Fiber: 0 Points: 6

Next, the fries:
Calories: 252 Fat: 13g Fiber: 5g Points: 5

Now, the burger (hold onto your hat!):
Calories: 839 Fat: 55g Fiber: 3g Points: 21

Totals for the meal:
Calories: 1379 (60% is in the burger) Fat: 68g Fiber: 8g Points: 32

I ended up having a Jumbo Popcorn Chicken salad (11 points) with light ranch dressing (3 points).

Dinner, again, was a challenge. I didn't plan anything and waited too late so I was hungry and craving all of those fatty, sweet, calorie-filled items I should really avoid... like a burger and fries. I had some more of the soup when I got home from work but I waited until 8 to finally decide what I was going to do for dinner. I threw caution to the wind and went to Taco Bueno. I settled on a Beef Big Ol' Burrito and a taco. That decision cost me 24 points (the burrito was 19 points) and I only had about 9 left.

*Food POINTS* values total used**	45
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-15
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	0

------------------
*Has anyone else ever noticed that the "nutrition information" button is kinda hard to find on most restaurant web sites?

2006-01-19T18:00:00.000-08:00

I made the No Points soup last night and heated some up for lunch. It's not bad and is actually kinda filling with the density of vegetables it has. I really wanted to crumble some crackers into it - I LOVE crackers in my soup - but resisted the temptation. I really want to get through this first week as best I can and get this train going.

I was able to not have a homemade brownie during a meeting for which they were made but had a later meeting - close to my 3pm hot spot - during which I had one. Like the donuts, only one, though. (counted it as 4 points)

If you could see my tracker, you'd notice I have a sweet listed almost every day. This is one of the reasons I'm not so sure about the points system. I really liked the exchange system from 7 or 8 years ago. Then I could see - REALLY SEE - that I was eating a balanced diet.

When it came to be dinner time I was looking around the house for something to make. I didn't really want to go out although I was craving a big, greasy burger and fries. Good thing I was too tired to go out and get it, even though the wife suggested I go ahead but get smaller portions than I normally would.

I started out having this Lean Cuisine entree. I threw it in the M-wave and, by the time it got all heated, I didn't want it. For one, it didn't smell appetizing. For two, it tasted rather bland. I ended up dumping it out and putting it on my list of foods not to buy again.

I started doing my kitchen dance but resisted the urge to start stuffing myself with things I didn't really want but were convenient and within arms reach such as potato chips, bread with peanut butter, chocolate popcorn and other sweets. I figured I'd better figure out something in a hurry or I was going to regret it. The two frozen burritos I finally settled on were not my first choice but they were satisfying.

*Food POINTS* values total used**	37
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-7
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	0

2006-01-18T18:00:00.000-08:00

Aaron bought donuts while we were converting Enid to the new software. They got whisked away to the back and I did a great job of ignoring they were there... until.

It was around 10 or 10:30, one of my hot spots. Normally, I would have a Special K bar but the donuts got put right under my nose - so I had one. Only one and I had asked for a plain cake donut so that's what I ate. One plain cake donut. Luckily, they don't count too many points (6).

I have no idea if I'm counting the daily vegetables right or not. I wish the points you can look up tell you whether or not something counts as a vegetable and how many exchanges.

*Food POINTS* values total used**	34
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-4
Exercise
No entries for exercise.
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	0

2006-01-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

Again, little control over what was served at lunch but I wasn't too concerned since we went to a sushi house. Not sure if I counted it right or not but it's all in there.

We had these store-bought chocolate chip cookies hanging around the past two days. I tried to resist but finally broke down - both days. I'm in the habit of finishing off with something sweet and those cravings are hard to break. Good news is that I only had half a cookie each day and not 2 or 3 or 6 cookies throughout the day. I'm guessing on the points.

Lots of exercise. Carl and I moved 6 computers from Stillwater to OKC. Had to carry them up the stairs in Stillwater. Took about an hour to break down and pack and about an hour to unpack and setup on the other end. I counted it as a stairclimber since "moving" is not an exercise option.

Dinner was late. The points are a total guess. Ataboy to me for recognizing I was full and taking half of it home with me. Normally would have eaten the whole thing and stuffed myself.

*Food POINTS* values total used**	38.5
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-8.5
Exercise
30 min stairclimber, 30 steps per minute	7
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	7

2006-01-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

I was in training today and I didn't have any control over what was served for lunch. I think I did very well. I only had two slices of pizza where normally I would have 3-4.

*Food POINTS* values total used**	32.5
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-2.5
Exercise
30 min walking, leisure	2
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	2

2006-01-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

I was hungry most of the day. I think I waited too long to have dinner. Am I just getting used ot it or am I not doing it right?

*Food POINTS* values total used**	33.5
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-3.5
Exercise
10 min strength training--free weights	1
10 min housework, laundry	1
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	2

2006-01-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

Day 1. I had a hamburger patty left over from last night for lunch along with some Fritos. Kevin came to get me 'cause he wanted to go to OKC and look at digital cameras. I was still hungry when we went to the gas station (which has a Subway restaurant in it). I quickly figured out that a Veggie Delight wrap is zero points! It was probably a mistake to get that. I don't know if it pushed me over the edge or I chose the wrong combination of vegetables but I had indigestion for quite a while after.

In OKC, Kevin and I did a fair amount of walking around the mall. I was quite hungry by dinner time and didn't really care how many points it cost. I knew I had some about 16 points to play with, though. I tried to make sure I made a smart choice and avoided the pizza and other obvious items. I ended up settling on a Gyro. I was estimating 10 points but it turned out to be 15. I think I did well considering what is usually available at a mall food court.

*Food POINTS* values total used**	34.5
*Food POINTS* values Balance**	-4.5
Exercise
30 min walking, leisure	2
*Activity POINTS* values earned**	2

First Meeting

2006-01-14T08:17:00.000-08:00

I weighed in at 273.2 pounds. It wasn't too surprising. The scale at home was reading around 268.

The meeting itself wasn't anything spectacular. We talked about portion control and how to use your hand as a guide if you don't have measurement tools available. Portion control is pretty much the heart of Weight Watchers. Nothing too eye-opening there except maybe for the part about restaurant portions and how they've gotten much bigger in the past 20 years.

So, I lift my water glass and say, "Here's to a first step and continued success."

- clink -

It All Starts Here

2006-01-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me singing kareoke with some friends in October, 2006. At this point, I was already thinking I needed to lose weight. This picture embarassed me. It was shortly after seeing this, and some other pictures taken at the company Christmas party, that I started taking action. But it wasn't enough.

I have been a Weight Watchers member in the past. In fact, I was a WW leader at one point. Yeah, me, the fat guy* in the picture used to be a Weight Watchers leader. Anyway, my point is that I knew Weight Watchers could help me so, last night, I went to the Weight Watchers web site to find a meeting. To my surprise, there was a local meeting on Saturday morning. I had been thinking about finding out when the meetings were for at least a week so, when I saw that one was available so quickly, I made up my mind to go. No excuses, just get up the next morning and go.

As we go through this journey, I'll be sharing with you my thoughts, challenges, choices, victories, and even my failures when it comes to food and weight loss. I'm doing this for myself so I can look back on my journey and explore my thoughts and feelings along the way. If someone else is uplifted or inspired, so much the better.

-------------------------
* I know in Weight Watchers and in several other programs calling yourself fat is like calling yourself a "drunk" in AA but, folks, look at the picture. I'm fat. Let's face that brutal fact and be honest about it.